Congratulations Janice!

Do I call you Mrs. Dr. or just Mrs.? Was the trip to Vegas planned or just a spur of the moment thing? Also, aren't you something special winning that 10 million dollar slots jackpot?! Was that before or after the wedding?

I made a long trip to get you a gift card at Target. It was worth the four hour drive since I was able to get a few new pairs of jeans and some shirts. I have destroyed most of my jeans on the barb wired fences. Twice the bull chased me through the back yard. I haven't worn that red shirt since.

Maybe when you get settled I can come for a visit and see your new house.

Keep writing. Sorry that I dropped the cell phone down the well. Elrod said that he would replace it the next time he went to auction. Maybe this time we can sell that hog, Rerun (he has been to auction four times with no buyers).

Your friend,
Beatrice

PS. As I think about it, people may not want to buy a pig with a spot in the shape of a pentagram on his back.

Janice,

Can you tell me where you order your wigs? Elrod has lost all his hair, poor thing. Nimrod did a nice thing and shaved his head. So, I am back to being careful about whom I hug.

So, Bert's just living with both of the twins!? I was glad to hear that ya'll were able to have an amicable settlement. Sorry you lost Sergeant Yorkie. Do you get visitation rights?

I've penciled in a date for my trip to come see you next month. How's your schedule looking?

Beatrice

Dear Janice,

Thank you for the get well card. Suzy the Squirrel and I enjoyed it. She gets her casts off tomorrow.

I am glad to hear about your engagement. Who would guess that an office romance would be with the doctor? Aren't you glad you took that job? I've enclosed a gift card. If you don't have a Dub's Emporium close by, guess you'll have to check his website or come visit me.

I'm still confused about Bert. Did you say that he's marrying the "miracle worker" or was it her twin sister? Oh well, I hope everything works out for him. How did he get the dual citizenship to Mexico?

Elrod is doing better. I'll explain again. He went up to the top of the telephone tree to attach my "telephone chair" when a thunder storm came out of nowhere. Lightning hit the tractor seat and blew Elrod right of that tree. Luckily he landed in an abandoned eagle's nest. After resting for an hour or so he climbed down to the ground.

One good think is that I won't have to cut his hair for awhile. Elrod isn't happy that it's curly now. He's also digging a storm cellar for any future storms here.

Another good thing, I can tell Elrod and Nimrod apart.

Write soon,
Beatrice

PS. I will call as soon as I find a better tree since the lightning burnt the top out of the telephone tree.

Dear Janice,

I am so sorry to hear about Bert. Are you going to be able to keep the house? The preacher at The First Assembly of The Most Righteous did something similar with the choir director. How young was his nurse? Do you have to pay alimony?

Sorry that our cell phone conversation was so short. I lost my grip on the tree when I took a swat at that annoying buzzard. Luckily the phone landed in a squirrel's nest. Did you know squirrels liked shiny objects? It took an hour to get the phone out of the nest. The doctor said that I get the stitches out of my left hand next week.

Well, need to check on Elrod. He wants to set a proper seat in the tree so I can talk longer to you.

Your friend,
Beatrice

PS. Did you know that squirrels are just as fast even when one leg is in a cast? Got to go get her back. Still waiting the ten days for the rabies thing.

Janice,

Sorry that I haven't written in a while. I really appreciate that cell phone you sent. I have been busy trying to find a signal. I will keep working on that but in the mean time, here's a note.

I am amazed at you stamina working two jobs. Who knew that rehab could be so expensive? I wonder why his insurance is not covering it? Have you been allowed to see Bert yet? I hope it is soon.

Elrod should be getting his cast off this week. Nimrod has decided to stay on at the farm Elrod bought next door and leave migrant work behind. He still isn't quite use to sleeping inside a house yet. But, at least, he wear's pajamas now when he sleeps on the porch.

Did I tell you that Lucky and her pups are stars now on the internet? One of the high school biology students came out and did a video on Lucky. She fell in love with the pups. She talked me into letting her name them. So now's there's a poll out there on the web to name them. Who would believe that Gimp and Grace would be the top two names? Stumpy and Stagger are a close second. I wish that I had named them already.

Well, write when you can. What day is your day off from the all night diner? Do you get the same day off from the orthopedic office? I will call you as soon as I find a signal and I don't want to wake you. I get up at 5:00am, Elrod let's me sleep late thanks to Nimrod, if you want to keep trying to call me on the cell phone.

Stay safe,
Beatrice